What a way to start a Monday

Today I'm feeling upset about my run. I was supposed to run/walk 3.5 miles today, but I didn't make it. I barely made it to 2.2 miles. My legs just wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't get my breathing right. And overall, my body just felt tired. Even now, walking from my car to my desk at work, my legs are achy and not happy to be moving. The run on Saturday was tough on me, I don't think physically I've recovered enough to run 3.5 miles, even though I rested all day yesterday AND took a 2 hour nap.

In two days, Wednesday, I'm supposed to run 2 miles. Because I only did 2 today, I'm going to walk/run 3.5 instead. Then on Friday walk/run 2 miles like my schedule says and hopefully this tweak will keep me on schedule to run 4 miles on Saturday.

End of week 2

Yesterday was the end of week 2 of my running schedule. I ran the 3 miles at 5.2 mph, finishing with a time of 34:38. The night before I'd run 2 miles at 5.3 mph, finishing time of 22:38 (my fastest!), but it was EXHAUSTING. I told myself if I ran a tiny bit slower I wouldn't wear myself out before reaching 3 miles, which is what I was afraid would happen. At the beginning of my run my goal was to run 2 miles at 5.2 and the last mile at a 5. But as I past 2 miles I told myself, "OK, I made it to my goal. Anytime now I can slow down to 5 mph, but I bet I could make it to 2.25 miles. Afterall, I ran last nights 2 miles faster than I did today." So I focused on the movie playing on the screen in front of me and kept running.

I continued to set small attainable goals, finally finishing the 3 miles going the same speed the entire run. It was hard! Thinking about how next Saturday I'm supposed to run 4 miles is frightening to me! But, as my sister always says, I can do hard things. I am very thankful that I have the ability to push myself past what I believe is my limit. I am also very thankful I do not have asthma!

Tomorrow I am supposed to run/walk 3.5 miles. My goal is to try to run this entire length at 5.2 mph. I already did 3 miles at that speed, realistically I could probably make it another 1/2 mile further at it. 3.5 miles sounds so intimidating to me though! I've only ever ran 3 miles twice before yesterday, so a total of 3 times. I've never ran 3.5 miles and I'm nervous I won't make it. I am going to try my hardest though, and I will make it.

I love the "high" I get from running. I feel so alive as I breathe in and out telling myself I am amazing and can make it to the next .25 mile. I love how my skin tingles with excitement while my chest pounds like a drum. I love how I feel after I run, red faced and dripping with sweat. I love that I improve every time I run; even if it's only an improvement of a few seconds. These feelings are what drives my goal to become a runner.

My Drive

Have you ever felt an overwhelming drive for something you really REALLY want in your life? Maybe not everyone knows the feeling I’m talking about. It’s this incredible feeling that consumes me. I felt it when I wanted more than anything to get out of debt. All I thought about were ways to lower my cost of living and ways to bring in more money. My budget was flawless, every dime accounted for. I worked a second job. I pinched every penny possible. Finally making it to the top of my mountain and becoming queen of my finances.  Maybe the drive I am describing comes from my goal oriented nature and my NEED to work toward something in my life so I can feel productive and accomplished. 

My drive now is to become a runner. I’ve never been a runner, nor have I ever been an athlete. In my 25 years, the most athletic thing I’ve done is marching band – which really isn’t strenuous at all. My grandparents, with whom I grew up with, never put me in a sport or pushed me to learn one. I also never had the confidence you need to even make yourself learn to play a sport. In gym, I didn’t try to learn any of the sports they taught you about because I didn’t think I could do it even if I tried. So I’m starting from scratch.

The whole thing has consumed me. Not a day goes by that I don’t talk about a run I did that morning or a run I’m going to do the next day. Or even an article I read about running. I have awesome running shoes and outfits. I have a schedule I’m sticking to from a fitness magazine that says that even a newbie racer can run half-marathon at the end of the 8 weeks. It’s pinned to my cubicle wall, right next to my computer screen, so I can look at it all day long. 

When this drive consumes like this, like I stated above, it’s all I talk about. I’m sure my coworkers, family, and friends are tired of hearing about my morning run on the treadmill. I’m sure they are tired of hearing how my next goal is to run X amount of miles in X amount of minutes. This is why I’m writing this blog. I need to talk about it so I can stick with it. I need to get it out there so I can focus on my job and other daily activities as well as my goal. 

I finished Week 1 of the 8 Week schedule I’m working on. It went well I think. Below is a copy of the schedule. 

On Monday, July 30, 2012, I ran both miles in 28:30. I don’t remember exactly how I felt doing it or afterwards. But from now on I plan to write about how I felt during and after my run. On Wednesday, August 1, 2012, I know I was hurrying so I could get home to my sick kid, so I ran at a 4.5 the majority of the time I believe. I did those 2 miles in 25:40. Shaved off nearly 3 minutes!

On Friday, August 3, 2012, it took me 25:50 to do 2 miles. The majority of that time I stayed at a 4.5 again. On Saturday, August 4, 2012 I ran the ENTIRE time at a 5. Well during the first mile I went up to a 5.5 for a little bit so I could run the first mile in under 12 minutes. To do both miles this day, it took 23:50. 

I was exhausted (yet energized!) after my run on Saturday. I really didn’t think I’d make it the whole way at 5 mph, but I did. For me, a 5 is hard! Again, I am a beginner runner, plus I’m out of shape. I’ve lost 65 lbs over the past 2 years, but still have 45 more to go. Just know, when I say “run”, it is probably the speed of your jog – or brisk walk even. But I don’t care; I will improve, as long as I keep at it. :) 

I started Week 2 today, August 6, 2012. I wasn’t feeling very excited or enthused to run at all after my earlier than expected awakening this morning. My 3 year old son had an accident while he slept and came into my room at 5 – 30 minutes before I planned to get up – so I was in a bad mood because of that. I wasn’t mad at him, just annoyed that I missed out on 30 minutes of sleep that I wanted.  I forced myself to the gym anyway. Today I walked/ran the scheduled 3 miles. It took me 41 minutes.. not great, but at least I forced myself to finish. I really wanted to just stop after .5 miles and take a nap before work at 8am, but I kept going. I stayed at a 4 for the most part; occasionally bumping it up to a 5. 

I am very tired today, making it hard to focus at work. I’m hoping my body will get used to the running/jogging and the earlier mornings soon so I don’t have to be so tired all day. I’m still happy and excited about my plan though. I don’t entirely believe this schedule is possible, but I’m going to try my hardest anyway! The magazine claims this is the schedule to do if you currently run fewer than 15 miles per week (or not at all), so here goes nothing!