I quit drinking over a year ago - and I am proud of myself for it.

I quit drinking a year ago. And I am proud to say that I haven't had even a drop since I decided to stop. There is only one person, besides Greg, that knows exactly why too. Everyone else has there assumptions though. The most common assumption is that "Greg made me" because he doesn't drink. This is false. I couldn't have stopped doing something that I really did enjoy doing just because someone told me I couldn't do it. That is not me at all. I would've rebelled and become bitter about it by now, IF that were the case. 

There are many reasons I chose to stop. In no particular order, I will explain the top reasons I have below.

1. Max. I want to be the best example I can be for this little boy. I do not want him to drink when he's older. I want him to know how to take care of the body he was given as this is the one he was blessed with. This is the same reason I diet and exercise, even though that seems like a losing battle most days... I want my son to look at his mom and know that I value myself and that I am grateful for a healthy body. I want to live a long life for him because I know how it feels to lose your parents in your 20's. I want to always be here on Earth for him, not just in spirit. 

(Really, isn't that the only reason I need? I think so, but I do have others.)

2. I hate the sluggish gross feeling I had after a big night of drinking. There were many mornings and afternoons - if not DAYS - wasted because of drinking the night before. I know all too well how short life is, so why waste any of those days for alcohol? (But before you think I neglected my child for alcohol, just so we're clear, I didn't drink like that when he was with me. It was always when he was with his dad for the weekend.) 

3. Greg. Yes, I'm putting him on my list but not for the reason my friends assume. This man is amazing. It took me over a YEAR to really put myself in his shoes and think about his feelings. I may not have neglected my son because of alcohol, but I did neglect him. Greg enjoys spending as much time with me as he can (as do I with him). So all those mornings/afternoons/days I wasted hungover sleeping in bed, he wasted them too but without the hangover. Think of all the things we could have done if I wasn't hungover and feeling like crap. Again, life is too short to waste your days, let alone someone else's. 

4. I hate making myself look like an ass - and there were many a time drinking made me look just like that. Yes, I have a billion stories about how much fun I had.. but I also I have a billion embarrassing stories as well. And in the end, at least when you have fun sober, you can minimize the acting like a fool part. 

5. My mom. As beautiful, kind, and amazing she was, there were many dark times we had because of alcohol. I do not want to become that part of her, so why even walk near to that line? She was a full blooded Native American, and we all know that Native American's can become alcoholics very easily.. so why tempt that part of me? 

6. I want to be the best girlfriend/partner/fiance/spouse that I can be. The fiance of one of my best friend's is an alcoholic. Being on the sober side, I've seen how it hurts their relationship. I see the irritation, the annoyance, and the pain, that he causes with his inability to stop or even LIMIT the amount he drinks. She tells me over and over that he's doing better, but then he slips - again and again and again. I see that and I know that I don't ever want to do that to my partner. My friend loves this man and will stick by his side because of her love for him - as would Greg for me - but I could not and would not do that to him. It is not fair for him (or for my friend). I want to make him happy and I definitely don't want to cause him heartache. I want our relationship to be as strong as it is now and I want it to grow even stronger.


Don't get me wrong, I loved the feeling alcohol gives you. I loved how it made me less shy and helped me be more outgoing. I loved how it numbed the pain I feel for my mom. But there are so many reasons I have to not drink versus to continue to drink. Honestly, I don't judge those that do drink and there are times when I really do miss it. But I cannot and will not disregard my strong conviction to no longer drink.